UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Old Dog says, "That the only way that love can be truly unconditional is that it is selfish, self satisfying, and equally self oriented.
Oh yeah, I can hear you out there saying but Old Dog isn't it suppose to romantic, finding your one true love and live happily ever after." "I know I seen that movie too. I think it's a fairy tale"
Dr. John Brantner an exceptional professor and mentor at the University of Minnesota was heard to say, "The only way you know for sure that you found "true love" that lasted for a lifetime is when someone dies.
Of course in our journey, there is romance, passion, and incredible opportunities to explore ectasy and fulfillment.
What, if on the other hand, you chose to live in the moment accepting and savoring the rich juices and experience of being with the one you are with. To be unencombered with plans, expectations, rules and an agenda for the rest of your life. Does it really make sense too throw away the gift that being handed in the here and now for a dream that may or may not come true in the future ?
Old Dog clarifies, “Try thinking this way. Rather than giving and receiving love…simply be love.” As, the pure energy of love flows unconditionally through us, we can experience it. In this way, love is equally a selfish act as much as it is a gift to others. It becomes a celebration of life that we can choose at any moment by simply being love.
Anything else is martyrdom or "conditional love". It is "quid pro quo' meaning "this for that" really a standard contract.
If, we give everything to another without thought or consideration for ourselves we become a martyr. In being a martyr on a daily basis you will inevitably end up with resentment and wanting to receive some sort of payment in return. Old Dog barks, "The bill will come due." The more ones gives without being fulfilled, the more likely one becomes hungry and demanding. It is simply a matter of emotional economics. It becomes a matter of too many withdrawls and not enough deposits.
Old Dog says, “Besides, if someone has truly been a martyr, then someone should be dead, with regret”. Further more, if you have given the “best years” of my life, does it not seem you would also have been there to enjoy them.
So, what is what we commonly call "love" if it is not unconditional ? (I know a second...hand emotion)
Conditional "love" if we are speaking honestly and straightforward is prostitution. I know that seems a harsh word. But, when we live a "script" of "I will be nice to you if you are nice to me and I will love you if you love me" it is a contractual arrangement. Contracts are a part of togetherness and relationships. It is common to say, "If you take out the garbage, I will do the dishes." But, let's be clear this making a deal and taking care business. It is not unconditional. And so, it is not love.
Another random thought about Old Dog has about beginning relationships. Most know the tradition wedding ritual where the bride and the groom stand before three candles. Each picks up a candle that is lit and lights the central wedding candle. A very sweet, beautiful, touching moment. But, then they go and blow there candles out. but, Old Dog has to use all his might to not scream, "Don't blow youself out...you are going to need all the fire you can get !" You said you wrote your story where you need to find another to make complete you, makes Old Dog asks with sympathy, "What are you half a person ?" Doesn't it seem like a more prosperous proposition to come to a relationship offering yourself as a completely whole person with a full life ?
A different Old Dog image is to see yourself as two well trimmed ships who have encountered each other in an exciting beautiful ocean. You greet and smile at each other and decide to sail together. Since, intimate relationships are best more harmonious when you equally have the ability to be apart as being together. Don't you think you will feel better that you didn't jump onto one of your ships and burn the other ?
